Six ways to make your life easier and more peaceful – by using stoic principles

https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2023/nov/22/stoicism-book-news-brigid-delaney?utm_source=pocket-newtab-en-intl

The control test

The control test is a simple but incredibly effective strategy I use whenever I start worrying about something. It can be applied not just to the news cycle but absolutely everything in life, from not getting a pay raise to facing death.

The formula, or test, is found in Handbook, or Enchiridion, a book of lectures by the Roman stoic Epictetus. Epictetus – whose handbook was published in 125AD – wrote:

Within our power are opinion, motivation, desire, aversion and, in a word, whatever is of our own doing; not within our power are our body, our property, reputation, office and, in a word, whatever is not of our own doing.

Essentially, our realm of control consists of our own actions and reactions, our desires, our character and how we treat others.

The rest – including our bodies, the actions of others, our reputations and our fortunes (personal and financial) – are out of our control.

Although in my book, I debate whether desire really is in our control (I mean, c’mon – what about hormones?), the control test is remarkably effective at assessing what we should and shouldn’t expect to be able to control in life. This knowledge is liberating.

Want someone you’re crushing on to fall in love with you? Out of your control.

Want that job? You can apply – but ultimately selection is out of your hands.

Fallen hard for an apartment? You can bid for it – but others might want it too.

Got diagnosed with cancer? You can try everything in your power to get better – but you can’t necessarily control the spread of a disease, even with the best medical care.

I use the control test every day to make an assessment of what I should worry about, and consequently where I can best direct my energy. If I read distressing news of war or conflict, I ask whether it’s in my field of control to stop or influence the conflict. The answer has always been no.

Protest and other forms of speaking up may influence outcomes – but ultimately, they do not directly control the outcome. According to stoicism – energy should be put into areas where we have direct control. Otherwise, we suffer unnecessarily.

Rational thinking

The stoics believed that one thing that separated humans from animals was our ability to think rationally.

Part of thinking rationally is acting on good information and contemplating the situation fully, rather than consuming or acting on misinformation or dodgy sources.

So, if you do decide to read the news, or follow conflicts happening around the world, a stoic would only get information from strong sources, rationally assess it, and not rush to judgment without being fully informed.

Violence that has taken place as a result of misinformation or faulty information has always been a scourge (just ask the philosophers like Socrates who were put to death by mobs), but this has intensified in recent times with the proliferation of disinformation on the internet.

It is within your control to seek out high-quality information and act rationally.

Don’t get infected by the fear or outrage of others

Be careful not to be excited into a panic or a gloom spiral by the emotions of others, say the stoics.

Counseled Epictetus: “Other people’s views and troubles can be contagious. Don’t sabotage yourself by unwittingly adopting negative, unproductive attitudes through your associations with others.”

The stoics were aware that mobs could whip up fury and high emotion and that the target of a frenzied group had little chance of using reason to change hearts and minds. They advised to stay away from them – and make up your own mind on matters, untainted by the high emotions of others.

Seneca said that to “consort with the crowd is harmful; there is no person who does not make some vice attractive to us, or stamp it upon us, or taint us unconsciously therewith. Certainly, the greater the mob with which we mingle, the greater the danger.”

Instead, a stoic would advise to be guided by the four virtues (courage, temperance, justice and wisdom) and your own rational thinking.

Be relaxed

The Greeks had a word for the state of mind we need to cultivate to remain calm: ataraxia.

Ataraxia is a state where you are free from distress and worry. Ancient philosophers believed achieving ataraxia created an emotional homeostasis, where the effect wouldn’t just be a more stable base-level mood, but one that would hopefully flow out to the people around you.

If you are more tranquil, you will be less likely to react or combust if something doesn’t go your way.

Imagine that your flight is delayed because of bad weather. You could react and take out your anger and frustration on the airline staff (who have no power to change the weather) or you could accept that the situation is out of your control – and remain calm and chilled.

With ataraxia, not only do you not ruin your own day, you avoid ruining other people’s too. In a tranquil state you may even make better decisions.

Ideally, someone in a state of ataraxia is not gripped by high emotions – such as lust, envy or fear. Rather, they have used the control test to understand what they can control, and what they can’t.

Aim to be peaceful in your own life and with others

You may not have control over conflicts in a distant land (or your own) – but you can be peaceful with all those you encounter – even the people who annoy you.

Marcus Aurelius, the Roman emperor and stoic philosopher, had this problem. He wrote in his diary as a reminder: “When you wake up in the morning, tell yourself: the people I deal with today will be meddling, ungrateful, arrogant, dishonest, jealous and surly. They are like this because they can’t tell good from evil.”

But he reminded himself of the humanity of even people who annoyed or frustrated him: “We were born to work together like feet, hands and eyes, like the two rows of teeth, upper and lower. To obstruct each other is unnatural. To feel anger at someone, to turn your back on him: these are unnatural.”

That is, you can accept other people are annoying or horrible. At the same time, you can accept they are human, just like you are, and will contain good along with the bad.

You cannot control these people, only your reaction to them. In this reaction, you can be peaceful and compassionate, or – if they are really annoying you – you can remove yourself from the situation.

The worst thing for a stoic was to react angrily to people who annoy you. That only escalates the situation and causes conflict that it’s hard to back down from.

Don’t act from a place of anxiety or fear

The stoics also accepted that life was full of change: just when you are comfortable with one set of circumstances, life gives you another twist. If you are relaxed and expect change, then you can deal with it better.

Marcus Aurelius coped in troubled times by not allowing his thoughts to be overrun by negativity. “The universe is change; our life is what our thoughts make of it,” he wrote in his diary.

Use the control test to calm anxiety. If you can’t do anything about it – if it is out of your control – then is it worth worrying about?

“There is only one way to happiness and that is to cease worrying about things which are beyond our power or our will,” wrote Epictetus.